What does Quran say about Parents?
Parents are important figures who nurtured us throughout
their lives. Even if we have grown and matured enough to do our things
on our own, Parents still feel that it is important to surround and
protect us. They still look at us the way they looked at us when we were
a child. They see us like mirrors and always consider us as their
reflections. They actively participate in all the events of our life.
They silently laugh when they see us happy, silently cry when we are sad
and silently worry when we are upset. They never show us their real
emotions, rather they hide from us without making us worried. Fathers
are happy to spend their hard earned money and mothers are happy to
spend their hours and days with us. So much a vital role they play in
our lives that we fail to realise them. That's why I decided to write an
article on how our parents should be treated and the importance Islam
has given to our parents. I dedicate this article to all parents who did
their best to nurture their children.
Importance of Parents
If you look upon some verses in the Quran
which define about parents, Most of the verses express that the parents'
rights are coming next to those of Allah.
"And when We made a covenant with the children of
Israel: You shall not serve any but Allah and (you shall do) good to
(your) parents," [2:83]
"Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good," [4:36]
"Let me tell you about what your Lord has commanded: Do not consider anything equal to God; Be kind to your parents;" [6:151]
These verses are fairly enough for a person to
know the important roles played by our parents and How much Allah has
stressed upon the fact to be good with them.
How should parents be treated?
Parents love us without a reason. If a
child goes and asks his parents, 'Why you both love me?' They would be
astonished for they find no reason why they love us. They simply find
joy and contentment through observing us from day to night. So what they
really expect from us? What do they want from us? Do they want
education from us? Do they want wealth from us? Nay! They expect nothing
from us, but kindness! They wanted the same love they showered upon us.
I have observed the happiness sprouting from parents' faces when they
hear such words from their child like: 'Mummy, I love you', 'Daddy, I
can't spend a single day without you.' This is what they expect from us.
This is what they wanted from us.
"We have advised the human being to be kind to his parents;" [46:15]
And I didn't fail to notice some parents whose
children are in abroad. Whenever I visit them and talk to them, they
never find enough time to tell about their children and the cravings
they have to see them. I couldn't really express how they grieve for
it's really painful, and I think it will be more painful if children
start to hate their parents when they are around them. I couldn't really
fancy it out; the agony, tolerance and everything that they bear for
just one reason thinking that no matter what for it is their child. It's
really painful. We all are obliged to our parents. We must give our due
respect to them. It's important to embrace them when they are in need
of us.
"And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents." [31:14]
When parents become old, we know that they are
yearning to be treated with love and care. They are in need of someone's
accompany. They wanted someone to listen to their speeches. They will
be interested to discuss their old tales with us. It might be a hard
thing for us, but still we should try our best to allocate some of our
time with them. We musn't show atleast a speck of disappointment to
them; instead, we must listen to them, speak to them kindly, make them
laugh... These are some things we could do to our parents. Just earning
largely and spending on their cause isn't enough. Ofcourse it's
important to look upon their material needs, but it's rather important
to focus on their non-material needs, which could be satisfied by none,
but by their own children.
"Your Lord has ordained that you must not worship
anything other than Him and that you must be kind to your parents. If
either or both of your parents should become advanced in age, do not
express to them words which show your slightest disappointment. Never
yell at them but always speak to them with kindness." [17:23]
Even Rasoolullah insisted that it is important to
look after our parents than taking part in Jihad which shows that
Parents are to be considered first in everything.
Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr that A man came to the
Prophet asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked
him, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the affirmative. The
Prophet said to him, "Then exert yourself in their service." [Bukhari]
If we desire to spend for a good course, it is
vital to consider our parents first and then onto other matters. The
Quran cleary states:
"They ask you (O Muhammad SAW) what they should spend.
Say: Whatever you spend of good must be for parents and kindred and
orphans and AlMasakin (the poor) and the wayfarers, and whatever you do
of good deeds, truly, Allah knows it well." [2:215]
Even if we are to die before our parents, then our legacy should be handed down to our parents.
"If one of you facing death can leave a legacy, he
should bequeath it to his parents and relatives, according to the law.
This is the duty of the pious." [2:180]
So it's important to show the best to our parents out of all we could.
Why Mothers are given a prominent place than fathers?
There are three main reasons why mothers are given a special place than fathers:
1. The burden a mother carry throughout her pregnancy:
This could never be imagined and it is
only mothers who can say what really the hardships are. Allah expresses
about it in His Book as,
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents.
His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and
his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to
Me is the [final] destination." [31:14]
2. The pains of delivery:
The throes of child birth is something
which is far beyond of what we actually think of. Mothers are not
common, but special for they are extremely patient and tolerant at this
stage.
"We have advised the human being to be kind to his
parents; his mother bore him with hardship and delivered him while
suffering a great deal of pain..." [46:15]
It will be more clear if you glance over the
following verse in which Maryam (peace be upon her) expressed the pains
of delivery when she was about to give birth to Prophet Isa (peace be
upon him),
"And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a
palm-tree: She cried (in her anguish): 'Ah! would that I had died
before this! would that I had been a thing forgotten and out of sight!'"
[19:23]
3. Feeding from her blood:
She never cares about it. She is extremely
happy when feeding her child from her own blood. How could this
possibly be? That's how Allah shaped mothers. That's why Allah stressed
much importance on mothers and they aren't feeding for a few weeks, but
for thirty months, Subhan'Allah!
"We have advised the human being to be kind to his
parents; his mother bore him with hardship and delivered him while
suffering a great deal of pain. The period in which his mother bore and
weaned him lasted for thirty months." [46:15]
These are the reasons why even Rasoolullah
emphasised on giving importance to mothers. By considering the above
three reasons, we can conclude that there can be none more unique than
mothers.
Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah, I asked: ‘O
Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom should I show kindness most?’ He
(saws) replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked (again): ‘Who next?’. He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother!’. I asked: ‘Who next?’ He (saws) replied: ‘Your
mother!’ I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your
father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.’ [Abu-Dawood]
Is it permissible to act against them?
Yes, it is permissible to act against them
only at certain circumstances. That is, if they ask you to keep faith
or belive in something other than Allah, then you are not to obey them.
The Quran clearly tells that,
"And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to
his parents, but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship)
anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them
not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do." [29:8]
but still Allah insist us to accompany and be kind with them in this world.
"But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in
worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey
them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path
of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience." [31:15]
Also it is a must to call them towards The Truth
for Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) didn't fail to call his father
who was a non-muslim and it is important to maintain politeness when
speaking to them. The following verses which was the conversation
between Prophet Ibrahim and his father will clearly help you to
understand that.
"Mention the story of Abraham, the truthful Prophet, in the Book (the Quran)" [19:41]
"When he said to his father: "O my father! Why do you worship that which hears not, sees not and cannot avail you in anything?" [19:42]
"O my father! Verily! There has come to me of knowledge
that which came not unto you. So follow me. I will guide you to a
Straight Path." [19:43]
"O my father! Worship not Shaitan (Satan). Verily! Shaitan (Satan) has been a rebel against the Most Beneficent (Allah)." [19:44]
"O my father! Verily! I fear lest a torment from the
Most Beneficent (Allah) overtake you, so that you become a companion of
Shaitan (Satan) (in the Hell-fire)." [19:45]
"He (the father) said: "Do you reject my gods, O
Ibrahim (Abraham)? If you stop not (this), I will indeed stone you. So
get away from me safely before I punish you." [19:46]
"Ibrahim (Abraham) said: "Peace be on you! I will ask
Forgiveness of my Lord for you. Verily! He is unto me, Ever Most
Gracious." [19:47]
The above verses clearly show how a parent should
be treated when he/she is a non-muslim and how the words should be
carefully choosen so as not to hurt them.
In Addition, it is important to maintain justice, even if it is against our parents,
"O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm
in justice, witnesses for Allah , even if it be against yourselves or
parents and relatives." [4:135]
What will be the reward for the conduct towards parents?
If we treat our parents with kindness,
cherish them in all possible ways and humbly make dua for them, then
Allah will reward us to be among the dwellers of paradise. Even Allah is
ready to ignore our bad deeds.
"We have advised the human being to be kind to his
parents; his mother bore him with hardship and delivered him while
suffering a great deal of pain. The period in which his mother bore and
weaned him lasted for thirty months. When he grew-up to manhood and
became forty years old, he then said, "Lord, inspire me to give You
thanks for the bounties you have granted to me and my parents, and to
act righteously to please You. Lord, make my offspring virtuous. Lord I
turn to you in repentance; I am a Muslim". [46:15]
"These are the ones from whom We accept righteous deeds
and ignore their bad deeds. They will be among the dwellers of
Paradise. It is the true promise which was given to them." [46:16]
But those who disobey and shown a slightest disappointment in their words, then Allah describe them as losers.
"There are people who say to their parents, "Fie upon
you! Are you telling us that we shall be raised from our graves? So many
people have died before us and (none of them have been raised)" Their
parents plead to God and say to their child, "Woe to you! Have faith;
the promise of God is certainly true" They reply, "What you say is only
ancient legends". [46:17]
"Such people will be subject to the punishment of God,
which was also decreed for many human beings and jinn before them. These
people are certainly lost." [46:18]
Beautiful Duas from Quran
Remember those days when you were totally
relied upon your parents. How you were in need of them to survive, How
they filled your life with love and affection, How they raised you
bearing all the hardships, and How readily they moved forward to share
your happiness and How without any reluctance they came forward to
console and protect you at times of distress. It is important to recall
those days and pray to Almighty Allah to shower His mercy upon them, but
how can we effectively ask some duas to our parents? Here are some
beautiful duas which I found in Quran:
"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." [14:41]
"My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small." [17:24]
"My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be
grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my
parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and
make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and
truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will)." [46:15]
