Shyness
or Hayaa` is a praised habit. It prevents its owner from doing something wrong.
The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said: “Shyness does not bring anything
except good. He also explained that it is one of the branches of Faith or
Belief.” Abu Huraira, Radiya Allahu Anhu narrated that the Prophet, Sallallaahu
Alayhi Wasallam said: “Faith or belief consists of more than sixty branches or
parts, and Hayaa` is a part of faith”.
Hayaa` is an Arabic word derived from
the word hayat, which means life. This term covers a wide number of concepts.
In English, it may be translated as modesty, shyness, self-respect,
bashfulness, shame, honor, humility, etc. The original meaning of haya refers
to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by
Islamically,
haya is an attribute which encourages believers to avoid anything distasteful.
It keeps them from being neglectful in giving others what is due upon them, and
if for any reason they are not able to keep up with their commitments, then
they will feel extremely uncomfortable and ashamed about this. The main reason
for this uncomfortable feeling would be the knowledge that they had displeased
Allah.
Imam Ibnu Al Qayyim, may Allah
have mercy on him, stated that Hayaa` is a part of life, and depending on how
much Hayaa` the heart possesses, actually reflects how much moral character the
individual have. The smaller the amount of Hayaa` the individual shows, the
greater the deficiency of spiritual life and ineffectiveness his ability and
competence reflects. Hayaa` may be practised between a servant and his Rabb
(Lord), when the servant shows shyness for his Rabb, especially in committing a
disobedience. It may also be practised between a person and other people. Now
the Hayaa` between the servant and his Rabb, was explained in a Hadeeth by the
Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam who said: “Be shy of Allah as you should
truly be shy. They said: We are shy (of Allah), O Prophet. He said, It is much
more than that. He who is truly shy of Allah, let him preserve his head and
what it perceives, let him preserve his stomach and what it desires, let him
remember death and afflictions, and he who desires the Hereafter abandons the
adornments of this world. He who performs all these, is the one who is shy of
Allah as he should be”.
Hayaa` is of the highest form
of not only Emaan, but also of Ihsaan. In a famous Hadeeth narrated by Umar ibn
Al Khattaab, the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said: Ihsaan is to
worship Allah as though you are seeing Him, and while you see Him not, yet
truly He sees you.
Hayaa' plays a huge role in the lives
of Muslims because it is a very important part of our Iman (faith/belief). If
we do not have any form of haya within us then it is most likely that our Iman
is very weak. For as it states in the following hadith:
Narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): The
Prophet said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e.
parts). And Hayaa` is a part of faith." (Bukhari)
We also learn from the Prophet
(saws) the importance of having haya and how it is not something to be ashamed
of, but instead, one should be concerned and ashamed if they do not possess it
within their character.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar (ra): The Prophet (saws) passed by a man who was
admonishing his brother regarding Hayaa` nd was saying, "You are very shy,
and I am afraid that might harm you." On that, Allah's Apostle said,
"Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith." (Bukhari)
Now the above hadith is also a form
of proof that "shyness" is not just something regarding women but
also an attribute that believing men should have, for it is an indication if
their fear of Allah and an indication of the value of their Deen.
When we think back to when we were
young around eight or nine years old - we all remember this feeling of shyness
and humility naturally occurring - for many it was when we felt we wanted to
conceal our bodies from our mums or siblings. We were often told - "don't
be silly" or "we have seen it all before" and the many other
comments that people in the west or ignorant Muslim parents affected by the
western values (or lack of them) say to their pure children. If these natural
instincts of shyness and shame are taken by the smart parent and nurtured, it
will develop and affect their entire character and also most importantly lead
to a conscious responsible Muslim who prioritise their life towards submission
to Allah (swt).
We often find that shyness,
humility and bashfulness is frowned upon by our society as a weakness or a lack
of confidence when, Infact these are quality of a dignified upright human
being, who is conscious of their actions and their responsibilities in life.
Now to discuss the different types
of Hayaa`. How many types of Hayaa` are there?
Haya' is of two kinds: good and bad:
The good Hayaa` is to be ashamed to
commit a sin or a thing which Allah and His Messenger (saws) has forbidden, and
bad Hayâ' is to feel ashamed to do a thing, which Allah and His Messenger
(saws) ordered to do.
Firstly, to talk about the types of Good Hayaa` For example, anyone who is a
believer, he/she should build their personalities and their character with the
good dimensions of Hayaa` The most important is that he/she must be shy of doing
ANYTHING displeasing to Allah (swt), with the belief that he/she will have to
answer for all their deeds. If one develops a sense such as this one, it will
help the believer to obey all of Allah's command and to stay away from sins.
Once the believer realises that Allah (swt) is watching us all the time and we
will have to answer to every move we make in this dunya (world), he/she would
not neglect any order from Allah or His Messenger (saws). So the stronger this
sense of Hayaa` becomes, the more it motivates one to make sure that Allah (swt)
doesn't see him/her doing anything prohibited. The way to develop this haya is
that one must keep learning and absorbing more knowledge and applying it to
their lives.
Another type of haya is more of a
social aspect concerning others besides Allah (swt). Normally these things
often come in regard with ones relationship with family. For instance, a child
not wanting to do something displeasing to his mother, or a wife not wanting to
do something displeasing to her husband or even a student who is careful about
saying something incorrect in front of his teacher.. Last but not least is the
type of haya in which the believers become shy of themselves. This is when they
have reached the peek of their Iman. What this means is that if they do, or
say, or see, anything wrong or even commit the tiniest sin, they start to feel
extremely bad and embarrassed or they feel extreme guilt in their heart. This
builds a high degree of self-consciousness and that is what strengthens the
believers commitment to Allah (swt)
After discussing the various types
of "beneficial" haya, it is time to discuss the type of haya which is
not only against the teachings of our Prophet (saw) but it is also solid proof
of the weakness of someone's Iman. This negative aspect revolves around a
person's shamefulness or shyness of doing something that Allah (swt) has
ordered us to do through the Qur'an or our Prophet's (saw) Sunnah. This
constitutes the shamefulness or embarrassment of doing a lawful act or
something that is ordered upon us from Allah (swt). Meaning for someone not to
follow an obligation of Islam, due the fact of being shy in front of others
about it. This is totally forbidden because then one is giving the people of
this dunya more respect than the One who Created this whole universe. It also
means if someone is shy or afraid to seek knowledge of Islam for worldly
reasons, because they do not want others to see them or to know of their
ignorance. This once again goes contrary to what Allah (swt) has told us in the
Qur'an, which is to seek knowledge and preach it to others. In this society
there are many examples. People will go out an get degrees in law schools, or
science, or engineering and they will put four to six years of their lives
studying for this stuff that will only benefit them in this world. Why? You
ask? Well most likely, in this society people including Muslims, choose their
careers according to how much money they will make and what status they will
have in this society as to being a lawyer or a doctor etc. They do not realize
that in Islam the BEST stature of a Muslim is that of a "dai'i" or a
teacher of Islam.
These Islamic teachers and scholars
are even higher in the eyes of Allah (swt) then one who only sits at home and
does ibaadah (worship). If they want to study law, why not Islamic Shariah? If
they want to study science, why not Islamic Science? So this explains how
people consider the worldly careers to be of higher value and are embarrassed
to even express an interest in Islamic Studies. It is usually because they will
not be considered as high as the other "educated" people. This is
having the bad haya or "shame" of something that is encouraged to us
by Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw)
Another proof of bad haya is that
which is extremely popular amongst many sisters in this western society.
One of the most important aspects of haya, for women, is that of guarding their
chastity and their modesty. To do this they must follow the order from Allah
(swt) telling them to keep hidden themselves and their adornments from all men
lawful to them in marriage. Now this order involves all the aspects of haya for
those who do follow it. The believing and following women are ashamed of
disobeying Allah (swt). They are shy of the opposite gender in this society
because of what they might experience if strange men look at them and lastly
they have haya because they are ashamed of going out in public and committing
this grave sin of displaying their beauty is public. There are many women in
this society who claim that they have haya but to follow the order of hijab is
backwards and that women in this society shouldn't have to cover, is obviously
disbelief. For if someone really had haya they would never contradict ANYTHING
that Allah (swt) has ordained upon us even if they found it a test and a trial.
A women's haya comes from her modesty and her shyness and her fear of Allah, so
how can she have haya if she walks around in public un-veiled? Proof lies in
the following hadith.
Abdullah ibn Umar (ra) narrated
that the Prophet (saw) said: "Indeed Hayaa` (modesty) and Iman are
Companions. When one of them is lifted, the other leaves as well."
(Baihaqi)
There are many verses in the Qur'an
and many ahadith explaining the reasons behind observing Hijab. The Islamic
Shariah has not stopped at giving the Commandments of Hijab, it has also
clarified every such thing which directly relates to these commandments and,
with the slightest carelessness, may result in vulgarity and immodesty. In
other words such things have also been forbidden in order to close the doors to
indecency and lewdness, in return providing a stronger pillar for Hayaa`.
Modesty (Hayaa`) and maintaining
one's honour and dignity are of primary importance in preserving the moral
fibre of any society. This is why modesty has been called the ornament of a
woman, which protects her from many sins and which prevents ill-intentioned men
from daring to have bad thoughts about her. This haya has been made a part of
her nature to safeguard her from being abused by immoral men.
Narrated on the authority of Anas bin
Malik, the Prophet (saw) said: When lewdness is a part of anything, it becomes
defective; and when Hayaa` is a part of anything it becomes beautiful. (Tirmidhi)
So it is only obvious that Hijab plays an extremely important role in regards
to Haya. For Hijab prevents lewdness and Haya backs this up and then person's
Iman becomes even stronger. So both things work together in a partnership. At
the time of our beloved Prophet (saw) as soon as the verses of Hijab were
revealed, all the Quraish and Ansar ran home to their wives and daughters and
close female relatives to tell them to cover themselves. The ones who had veils
used them and the ones who did not have veils made some right away. For
instance the following hadith tells us:
Narrated by Aisha (ra): May Allah
have mercy on the early immigrant women. When the verse "That they should
draw their veils over their bosoms" was revealed, they tore their thick
outer garments and made veils from them. And when the verse "That they
should cast their outer garments over themselves" was revealed, the women
of Ansar came out as if they had crows over their heads by wearing outer
garments. (Abu Dawood)
This indicates that all these women wanted to guard their modesty which is why
they followed out the orders of Allah. Yet, another verse talk about the level
of modesty in Aisha (ra):
Narrated Aisha (ra): "I used
to enter my house where Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was and take off
my garment, saying that only my husband and my father were there; but when Umar
was buried along with them, I swear by Allah that I did not enter it without
having my clothes wrapped round me owing to modesty regarding Umar."
(at-Tirmidhi and Ahmad)
If women in today's society choose
not to wear the veils, but some belief in their hearts, than they might be
categorised as Muslim women but not Mumineen. The truth is that Haya is a
special characteristic of a Mu'min ( believing, practicing Muslims). People who
are ignorant of the teachings of the Prophet (saws) do not concern themselves with
Haya and Honour. Haya and Iman are interdependent; therefore either they both
exist together or they both perish. Thus, the Prophet (saws) has said in one
hadith, "When there is no haya left, then do as you please."
Today vulgarity and all its
ingredients have become a common place even among well-known Muslims in the
zeal of imitating the disbelievers. It is these people who have been struggling
to bring Muslim women out of Hijab into immodesty and indecency. They have
adopted the lifestyles of the disbelievers more than the traditions of the
Prophet (saws). Such people are in a dilemma. On the one hand, they desire to
freely look at the half-clad bodies of their wives and daughters of other
Muslims on the streets; and on the other hand, they do not have the courage to
deny the teachings of the Holy Qur'an and the Prophet (saws). Neither can they
say they have given up Islam, nor can they bear to see Muslim women wear Hijab
and showing some Haya. Actually the fact is, indulging in indecency for so long
has killed the sense of modesty (haya) which Islam had commanded them to
preserve. It is this natural desire of maintaining one's honour which compels
men to protect the respect and honour of their women. What these men and women
do not understand is that if the women do not observe Hijab and do not develop
Haya inside of them, they will be entertaining those who have taken the path of
Sheytan. Such as the following hadith:
Malik b Uhaimir reported that he
heard the Prophet (saw) saying that, "Allah (swt) will not accept any good
deeds or worship of an immodest and vulgar person." We asked "Who is
a vulgar and immodest person?" He replied, "A man who's wife
entertains Ghair-mehram men."
Now the word "entertains"
implies that she is showing off her beauty instead of keeping herself covered
up. If the Muslim brothers of today's society knew the benefits of haya and
hijab hey would definitely not tolerate the opposite. At the time of our beloved
Prophet (saws) the husbands could not even imagine their wives leaving the
houses un-veiled let alone go out and beautify themselves for other men to get
"free looks". The following hadith shows this fact clearly:
Narrated by Al-Mughira: Sa'd bin
'Ubada said, "I will not hesitate killing my wife with a sword if I see
her with another man" This news reached Allah's Apostle who then said,
"You people are astonished at Sa'd's Ghira (self-respect, honour). By
Allah, I have more Ghira than he, and Allah has more Ghira than I, and because
of Allah's Ghira, He has made unlawful shameful deeds and sins done in open and
in secret. And there is none who likes that the people should repent to Him and
beg His pardon than Allah, and for this reason He sent the warners and the
givers of good news. And there is none who likes to be praised more than Allah
does, and for this reason, Allah promised to grant Paradise (to the doers of
good)." 'Abdul Malik said, "No person has more Ghira than
Allah." (Sahih Bukhari)
So this should be enough to
understand why Hijab is so important for women to establish Haya in themselves
and live the lives of true mu'mineen. Sometimes the situation becomes a such
that people will have done wrong/sins for such a long period of time that they will
not be able to differentiate between right and wrong. Another way to put this
is that, a person's exceeding indulgence in indecency results in the loss of
wisdom and the ability to see good deeds from bad deeds. As the Prophet (saw)
said:
"I have a sense of Honour ( a
part of haya). Only a person with a darkened heart is deprived of Honour."
So one wonders…..what if this observing of Hijab and maintaining Haya is so
important then why is it we have nothing to show us the merits? Well the answer
to that question clearly lies in the Qur'an and ahadith. There are many merits
of Haya if one wants to know. Here are some just to list a few.
Firstly Allah loves Haya. We know
this by the following hadith: " Surely Allah (is One who) has haya and is
the Protector. He loves haya and people who cover each others
faults."(Bukhari)
Secondly, Haya itself is a Greatness of Islam as our Prophet indicated:
"Every way of life has a innate character. The character of Islam is
haya." Or "Every Deen has an innate character. The character of Islam
is modesty (haya)." (Abu Dawood)
Thirdly, Haya only brings good and
nothing else. Our Prophet (saw) said: "Haya does not bring anything except
good." (Bukhari)
Fourthly, Hayaa` is a very clear
indication of our Iman. As the Prophet (saw) had mentioned to the Ansar who was
condemning is brother about being shy: "Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of
Faith." (Bukhari)
Fifthly, last but not least, Haya leads us to PARADISE. As the Prophet saws)
told us: "Haya comes from Iman; Iman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes
from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Bukhari)
The actual word Haya is derived from Hayat. This means life. It is only obvious
that when someone has Haya in them, they will LIVE a life of Islam. On the
other hand if they do not have Haya they are living a life that is dead
"Islamically" but alive according to this dunya.
The Prophet (saws) said: "Haya
and Trustworthiness will be the first to go from this world; therefore keep
asking Allah for them." (Baihaqi)
He who is shy
of people, must refrain from disgraceful habits, wicked deeds and sayings. He
does not swear, nor slander or back-bite, nor boastfully publicise his sins.
His shyness of Allah protects him from his wickedness internally, and his
shyness of the people protects from his wickedness externally. Hence he becomes
both internally and externally righteous, in his public affairs, and this is
how Hayaa` becomes a part of faith.
Without having Hayaa`, there remains nothing
that would prevent a person from having a wicked character in doing evil, and
he becomes as if he has no faith. This is stated in a Hadeeth by Abu Masood Al
Ansaari where the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said: “Among the words
people obtained from the First Prophecy are: If you feel no shame, then do as
you wish”.
Ibn Abbaas said that Hayaa` and Emaan are
equally in rank and merit, and that if Hayaa` is lost then Emaan usually
follows. The afore-mentioned Hadeeth and the saying by Ibn Abbaas thus indicate
that, he who loses Hayaa`, loses that which prevents him from doing evil deeds,
followed by not fearing the Haraam or the guilt. Since we live in a time where
Hayaa` has disappeared in the majority of people, a lot of abominable and
disgusting ways and actions have materialised in the society.
In conclusion we must understand
that Haya is important for both men and women. Men are to control themselves by
getting married as young as possible or if they cannot afford that, they should
fast. Women are told to conceal themselves so that the men will not be over
taken by the whispers of Sheytan and will not disrespect or take advantage of
the women. There are many verses in the Qur'an that have clearly explained how
we have to behave and Allah is All-Knowing therefore He knew that we would face
these problems living in this society, and that is no excuse to change Islam
and only practice what we feel is right. Allah (swt) has told men how to guide
their modesty and has told women how to guide their modesty. If either one of
them refuse to follow the commandment of their Lord, may Allah have mercy on
them and may He guide them to the straight path.
"Say to the believing men that
they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for
greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their
modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what
(must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their
bosoms and not display their beauty……." (Qur'an Nur, 30-31)
